LOSS OF LIBIDO

Loss of Libido in Menopause: Why It Happens (and What Actually Helps)

Loss of libido is one of the most common — and least talked about — symptoms of perimenopause and menopause.

For many women, it creeps in quietly. For others, it feels like a switch has been flipped overnight. Desire fades, intimacy feels like effort, and suddenly you don’t recognise this part of yourself anymore.

And yet… no one warned you this might happen.

Let’s be clear from the start:

Loss of libido in menopause is not “all in your head”, it’s not a personal failing, and it’s not something you just have to accept.

Why libido changes in menopause

Sex drive is influenced by far more than just hormones — but hormones play a big role.

During perimenopause and menopause, levels of oestrogen, progesterone and testosterone fluctuate and decline. These changes can affect:

   •   Desire and arousal

   •   Vaginal lubrication and comfort

   •   Blood flow and sensitivity

   •   Mood, confidence and body image

At the same time, many women are also dealing with:

   •   Fatigue and poor sleep

   •   Stress, anxiety or low mood

   •   Weight changes and body confidence issues

   •   Relationship pressures

   •   Caring responsibilities and mental overload

When your nervous system is overloaded and your body is under-fuelled, sex naturally drops down the priority list.

This isn’t broken biology — it’s your body asking for support.

The physical symptoms that impact desire

Low libido in menopause is often linked to very real physical changes, including:

   •   Vaginal dryness or pain during sex

   •   Recurrent UTIs or irritation

   •   Reduced sensation

   •   Pelvic floor weakness

   •   Joint pain or stiffness

   •   Low energy and motivation

If sex becomes uncomfortable or painful, your body learns to avoid it. This is protective, not dysfunctional.

The emotional side no one talks about

Libido isn’t just physical — it’s deeply emotional.

Many women tell me:

   •   “I don’t feel like myself anymore”

   •   “I feel disconnected from my body”

   •   “I love my partner but I just don’t feel desire”

Hormonal shifts can blunt dopamine (motivation and pleasure) and serotonin (mood and wellbeing), making it harder to feel desire, excitement or connection.

Add guilt, pressure or embarrassment into the mix, and libido can disappear even further.

What actually helps (beyond “just relax”)

There is no single fix — but there are effective, evidence-based ways to support libido in menopause.

1. Hormone support

For some women, HRT can be life-changing — particularly when vaginal oestrogen is included to support tissue health, comfort and sensation. Testosterone may also be appropriate for some women under medical guidance.

2. Nutrition matters

Your body needs adequate fuel to produce hormones and feel desire.

Key nutrients linked to libido include:

   •   Zinc

   •   Vitamin D

   •   B vitamins

   •   Omega-3 fats

   •   Magnesium

Under-eating, low protein intake and chronic dieting all suppress libido.

3. Strength training

Lifting weights improves blood flow, confidence, mood and testosterone levels — all of which support desire. Strong women feel more connected to their bodies.

4. Nervous system regulation

Libido thrives in safety, not stress. Poor sleep, constant busyness and mental overload shut down desire. Slowing down is not indulgent — it’s essential.

5. Removing pressure

Desire doesn’t respond well to obligation. Intimacy doesn’t always have to mean sex. Rebuilding connection, touch and closeness without expectation often allows desire to return naturally.

The most important thing to remember

Loss of libido in menopause is common, normal and reversible — but it does require support, understanding and the right approach.

You don’t need to “push through”.

You don’t need to accept this as your new normal.

And you are not alone.

Midlife is not the end of intimacy — for many women, it becomes a new chapter of confidence, self-knowledge and empowered choice.

With the right support, your body can feel like home again.